I did it all… almost

This past year has been challenging to say the least, and I have done nothing but complain about it, just look at the somewhat sad previous entries, where I bitch and say I was going to make some changes, but I found myself too busy with being in bed all day watching funny YouTube videos (you do it too so shut up).

Anyways, if anything the one good thing that came out of this weird, crazy roller-coaster of a year, is that I gained some knowledge on the wonderful thing that is adulting (hope you can read the sarcasm in that). I also can say, this year, I lived to the best of my capacity never missing an opportunity and making it work, regardless of social, financial, emotional or family related difficulties.

In the spirit of me getting shit done, finally, and a better 2017 from here on, I like to take notes from Robert and make this a music post. And the song that has been on replay in my head for the last few weeks is Lived by One Republic. I took the year by the horns and made it by bitch, I manage to meet new people, go to festivals, try new places and more, all while dealing with depression and a hard family event. In the past I would have let my depression take over me, not today Satan, not today! This is also the song I would like to be in my mind when I finally kick the bucket, so time to gain more experiences and LIVE.

Everything is a photograph

Have you ever found yourself deep in thought wondering if others see the world the same way you do? I for example see the world through my imaginary camera lens, I say imaginary because lots of time I don’t even have my camera with me. I often find myself driving or walking down the street, looking at a scene and seeing a photograph, some times I can  even see how it would look  in print in my hands. I even add human subjects, in wonderful and wardrobe, and I can block out everything surrounding the main image, I only see the possible photograph. This is one of the main reasons I carry my camera with me almost all the time, because I don’t want to see a photo and not be able to capture it.

So I wonder if other photographers see the world the same way as me. And if you are a song writer is everything a song? How do you see the world?
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XoXo

Red Door

It is my dream to own a house with a red door in the Garden District of New Orleans. But until that happens I will just creepily keep taking photos of other people’s houses.

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XoXo

I waved back

This morning while sitting in the street car on my way to work  (big shot out to my car for breaking down right before Mardi Gras btw) these to waved and smiled at me saying good morning.

And while I normally don’t appreciate men saying anything to me on the streets; because most of the time they are being as gross as they can, these two made my day and it was only 8 o’clock in the morning. It’s like they saw my face and both agreed I needed a smile, and genuinely shared theirs with me. It did not feel gross or inappropriate, I was not being objectified or looked at because I have DDs. They were giving me a smile and a waved good morning because they actually wished for me to have a good day it felt like.

As I waved back at them I realized two things; 1st I was waiving back, I don’t waive back at strangers, hell, I don’t waive back to people I  actually know, normally I sit there with my resting bitch face staring at them like are you done? 2nd this strangers have taken 30 seconds of their morning conversation/ cigarette break/ beer break to give me some kindness in the form of a smile, that to me is the greatest thing someone can give me.

I have had a hard couple of weeks, with an extremely emotional weekend, that ended in so many tears yesterday, and as I  took an unusual route to work this morning life reminded me to smile even when things seem to fall apart, to love, respect and be kind to others. A smile, even a small drunken one can make someone else’s day oh! so much better.

Normally I am the queen of sarcastic almost pessimist reality infused commentaries and opinions, I mean I say  that I hate self empowering books to people who read them faces. But today I choose to smile and be a little more positive, tomorrow I’ll be back to being little bitch me.

XoXo

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PS: sorry for the not so great photo the street car moved as I tried to take it.

Resist: Potholes?

If you are from New Orleans or have ever visited you probably know we have potholes, a lot of them, everywhere. Our potholes do not discriminate on neighborhoods either, you will find them Uptown, 9th Ward, in many major streets and many side streets, the point is we have potholes, a bunch of them.

So it comes as no surprise that we complaint about them ALL the time, as soon as you leave your house and hit the first one “grrr these f… potholes” pops into your head. But as much as we complain, and no matter how many dicks we draw around them to force the city to repair them, yes apparently someone did that once. The truth is that we have kind of grown to love the damn potholes. Furthermore, we miss them once they get all patch up and the streets are smooth as a baby’s butt.

Take me for example, every morning on my way to work I had to avoid the same crater, yes, this one looked like a meteorite had impacted N. Claiborne Ave. So every day depending on traffic conditions I would have to either switch lanes or get mentally prepare for the possibility of my truck just breaking down in the middle of the street. Then one morning the hole was no longer there. There I was driving through the 9th Ward waiting on a pothole that vanished. It had me questioning my own sanity, ” Was sure there was pothole there, did I imagine it? Am I going crazy?” A couple of days later, while I was still struggling to accept the fact that the crater was not there anymore, I noticed how the recently poured concrete contrasted with the rest of the street, the hole had been patched up and now I was missing it.

Don’t get me wrong, I did not miss the pothole itself, nor did I miss the expectation of it every morning, I mean no matter how exciting this sounds my life is not that boring. But it did have me thinking, what would happen if all the streets of New Orleans were fixed? No one single pothole left behind. I believe the city would be missing part of its charm and uniqueness, part of what makes Nola, well Nola. I guess what I am saying is that I would rather curse out loud every time my truck jumps up and down while driving through Magazine Street, than to have New Orleans not be itself, and the fact that I live in the swamp is my ally, I will probably resist most of the things on my featured photo, but I might let the potholes slide, but definitely resist BROTELS!

Featured Photo by Sam Maggio!

Check out the Pimp My Pothole Gallery to see how creative Nola gets with potholes.

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XoXo1

Dot in the distance

I miss the days when picking up my camera and walking down the Quarters came so easy to me it felt like breathing. It seems like it was just yesterday the last time I walked out mu house just me and my best friend, well it kind of was just yesterday, if yesterday if a day was a year.

This past year has been so challenging and exhausting for me that even picking up my camera became hard, so she lays in the back of my closet in a bag picking up dust and buried under piles of other projects.

And although I can see the light at the end of this very dark year-long tunnel, it is still so far it is just a little dot in the distance, the dot gives me hope and forces me to walk even faster to reach the other side, maybe once I am out my camera and keyboard wont feel as heavy as they do now,  and I can enjoy the simple act of taking a photo or writing a post.

 

XoXo

Two years later

Today I opened my WordPress account to a surprising reminder, today two years ago I registered my account, so I had the “Happy Anniversary” orange bubble waiting for me. I had completely forgotten about this, not like I keep track anyways, but seen the reminder made me think of how little attention I’ve been paying to this little piece of me. I haven’t been posting at all lately and I sign in once in a blue moon to check on the amazing bloggers I follow, because even when I am not working I don’t want to miss out on their work.

Seeing  the notification reminded me not only of the anniversary but the reason why I decided to create the blog two years ago, I wanted to share my happiness, my love for New Orleans, photography and life with the world. I wanted others that might think like me to have someone to relate to, I was also happy and in one of the best places I’ve ever been in life, but somewhere along the way I lost my happiness and with it my motivation to write and share with the word. I can’t tell where or why it happened, I can only tell that the spark it’s not there anymore, and it saddens me, but some how I am not able to get over this never-ending writers block. I am literally forcing myself to write this right now.

I am, in a very millennial way of speaking, OVER IT. The orange bubble will not be a reminder of how I lost track, but instead a reminder for me to force myself to get out of these endless blues, because if I let it completely take over I probably won’t be able to get out. This not only relate to my blog, but to life in general, I need to get back in track with everything, my health, my mental state, my blog and photography, I am not saying I will be back to where I was when I decided to start two years ago right away, but I am going to take steps to get there. If I’ve done it once before I can do it once more, it is an ongoing war with myself and the positive say of me will win.

Happy Anniversary to me!

 

XOXO

 

 

Change

My life has change, my life has given a 180 degree turn,I didn’t ask for it, trust me I didn’t,  I was happy, I was truly happy, I loved my house, my job, my little world, the weird bubble I was living in, but the bubble was popped, and here I am, standing in the middle of the nowhere but surrounded by people, working hard to solve a problem that is not mine but to which I have the solution to, losing all I worked for, what I dreamed about, for the greater good.

But is it really worth it? Is it wort it to sacrifice my present happiness for the probability of a better future, not only mines but others? I guess only time will tell, and I’ll just have to wait.

 

 

 

Emotions

I am angry…

I am allowed and entitle to be angry, so I will be angry and I will be proud.

I am sad…

I am allowed and entitle to be sad, so please don’t tell me not to be and let me cry for however long I want to.

I am scared…

I am allowed and entitle to be scared, so let me fear and I promise I will conquer it.

I will be happy…

Because just like I am allowed to be angry, sad and scared, I am also allowed to be happy, and no emotion is permanent.

 

XOXO

 

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Why is my blood canary yellow?

I was born in 1988, which means I was an 80’s baby, a 90’s kid and a 2000’s teen, I am part of what we now know as Generation Y or Millennials  (thanks Wikipedia for the information). I’ve lived 2.5 decades, the changed of a century and the changed of a whole millennium, remember New Years eve 1999 when we all went crazy because the world was going to end one way or an other? Gosh we did have a hundred and one theories on how the world was going to end that night, I lived out the awkward silence at the end of the 3,2,1 because everyone waited a few seconds to yell out HAPPY NEW YEAR,  you know they had to make sure the world wasn’t ending before kissing their significant other or hugging grandma.

I also lived and still am living through what I like to call the earth’s change from analog to digital, my generation was the first generation to have access to computers in their homes, to own a tiny cell phone, y’all remember the Motorola RAZR in hot pink?, we were the first generation to use the power of the internet to do our homework (you know before the professor could notice if you copied and pasted it with the click of a button). But ours was also the last generation to pick playing outside over having your eyes glue to a tablet, last ones to have only one phone line at home, some people don’t even have one at all anymore.

I also believe our generation was in some way more respectful of others, it is funny how I found myself saying “This upcoming generation it’s just plain disrespectful” last night, and I looked at myself and though “oh lord I have become my mother”. Last night as I’m getting home from my daily bike ride , I was about two houses away, I hear a car behind me as every polite biker would I moved myself to a side to allow the car to pass me, and then I hear a pop followed by an other pop and a sharp pain on my butt, I heard the car accelerate and pass me, as the passed by I saw the silhouette of a gun. I automatically panicked, I had been shot, so I put my hand on my butt and it feels wet, I closed my eyes as I got ready for the worse and then open them to look at my hand, huh why is my blood canary yellow?

I had in fact been shot, with a BB Gun!!!! I walked to my from steps, had a seat and then I broke down crying, I was alive, no bullet stuck in butt cheek, sure my favorite yoga pants are now fucked by a big yellow stain and I have a bruise the size of an orange on my left cheek, but I am perfectly fine. I thought about calling the police, but I had no distinctive remarks about the car or the kids, so what good would that be? All that is left to do is to be thankful that it was nothing major, go inside try to clean my pants, take a shower and go to sleep, but as I am going all these all I can think is “Where are these kids parents?”

Of course I cannot blame the parents completely for this, kids lie, kids do things behind their parents, kids are easily influenced by other kids, that does not mean that the parent is doing a bad job. But I feel that this generation has no respect for other, they don’t care about hurting others and are also less afraid of getting in trouble over all. I understand change, and I get it the world evolves and every generation is different, but I believe this generation is losing touch with was morally and humanly correct, so I can’t help but to wonder where and when did we go the opposite way on distinguishing whats right and wrong? What’s your openion?

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XOXO