As many of you might know if you’ve read my previous posts I’ve been actively dating for the last two years or so, I’ve been single for about six years now and once I moved to New Orleans I decide to give dating a try since I never really did it when I was back in Miami, mostly because I had my friends and family who entertained me 24/7, but once I moved to New Orleans I didn’t have that any more and I though it was a good opportunity to actually give it a try.
I’ve tried online dating, I’ve tried dating dating, I’ve tried take that random dude from the bar home dating, and yes I’ve had a few short relationships develop from all the game, and some of them actually pretty intense, but I have yet to find someone I like enough not to send packing or that likes me enough not to run away once they realize I’m crazy (I blame that on me being Hispanic and we leave it at that).
Any ways in the last few months I have been come apathetic to the whole dating thing, specially the online part of it, most of my online accounts have already been deleted by lack of usage, but from time to time I go on Tinder because 1. I love a free meal and 2. it can be funny. So this week I matched with some random and we set up a date for Friday.
As you all know I decided for the new year Friday afternoons are going to be for me and me only, but since he was being nice and asked me out I decided to go on a date with him, but comes Friday and things got complicated, I got off work much later than I was expecting, my mother asked me to help her out with some stuff, plus I was 2 hours stuck in traffic! When I saw that things were just not going the way I had planed them, and maybe 2 hours before our set up time I texted him asking for a rain check, and told him how sorry I was it was so last-minute, but he though I was lying to get out the date, so here I was trying to explain myself to a complete estrange and make him believe I was not just looking for a way out, I was actually looking forward to the date.
At some point during the “I call bullshit on you” interaction I realized that I didn’t own him such an extensive explanation, like the fuck dude I don’t know you and I honestly do not care what you think the reason for me to change plans is, I am being honest and apologizing for the fact that I can’t make it, also asking to reschedule, and you want to make me feel guilty and bad about the fact that shit doesn’t always go as plan, hell no! So I unmatched him and went on with my Friday free of guilt, helped my mother with what she needed and went home early enough start reading a new book and to go to bed at a decent time, I am actually happy I cancelled.
Dating is way to complicated at times, the way I see it shouldn’t though, you meet someone if you like them and want to spend time with them then you do and if not then you don’t, but people always want to put these expectations on your shoulders that you can’t carry, other times they are not clear on what they are looking for and lead you to be the one placing all the expectations on them, and if they aren’t met we make the other person feel guilty about the fact that some times shit does not go as plan or as we like it to be.
I honestly don’t even get upset anymore, I just go with the flow and try not to care, of course it doesn’t always work, but at least I am not online acting crazy with someone who doesn’t know me and no one is writing blog post about how psychotic I am.