I haven’t post in a very long time, you might say I had an inspiration dry or something, the truth is that I was losing myself to someone else again, I seem not to learn don’t I?
I am going to be completely honest with you guys, first because you don’t really know me and even if you judge me, your judgment won’t hurt as much, and second because I don’t have a therapist so y’all have officially been given that stop in my live, so sit down, read and pretend you are really interested in what I have to say.
I am sick and tired of being single, being single gets boring and it is super overrated. So when I find someone who is willing to spend a bit of time with me I end up getting attached to them really fast and eventually scaring them away because although I am ready to be with someone, they are not. And that’s what happened with the last guy I was talking to, but to be fair and make myself look less crazy, he made it seem like he was into me the same way I was into him.
Now the worst part of all this is not that I got disappointed once more and that I end up realizing that the nice guy I had picture he was, turned out to be a major ass, no, the worst part is that I lost myself once more, I stopped writing, taking pictures, going out on my own to do random shit, like I normally would do, all because I wanted to make this work so bad this one time. So to make the story short, what I am really trying to say is that I am more disappointed by myself than anything else. For letting myself get lost, and for letting someone else’s life become my life. I’m sure I am not the only girl who this has happen to, and I won’t be the last one, neither, but there comes a time when you have to force yourself to grow up and take responsibility for your life and stop living through others eyes.
I hope this serves me as a lesson to never let go of who I am for someone else, and be patient with life and let it run its course, not to force things that are not meant to be and to own my own. I also hope that if any girls read this they know that they are not alone and they aren’t crazy for getting attached to someone or wanting things to work out in a perfect way, this just show that you have a great heart and that you are capable of loving without any hesitation, but that sometimes you have to be aware of yourself and keep in mind that you should always come first.
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