Online dating fail.. but first here’s a picture of my wiener

So I’ve tried online dating, as I said in one of my past posts I feel like I am ready to find someone to be with, plus I like all the free food and drinks that come with the search. I’ve had my share of fun and I’ve gotten to meet some cool guys. I have yet to make it pass the first date with the ones that have actually taken the time to text, call and ask me out, and pass the penis photos with the ones that just want to get it in, and by get it in I mean get it in anything, anywhere and at any time.

This massive wave of penises and failed to launch follow-up dates and calls back, has me wondering if I am doing all this dating thing completely wrong; I just haven’t been lucky and eventually I will find someone who will like me enough to show me his goodies at the right time and in person; or should I just accept the fact that I will be forever alone and start collecting cats?

Now I’ve been single for five years, which puts me completely out of the game and confused as how the times have changed. I still don’t know when “Hey cutie, want to suck on this *insert picture of his dick here*?” became the new and improved pick up line?

I mean don’t get me wrong I am not saying that after seen the picture and contemplating how well equipped  some of them are I haven’t thought about meeting them up once or twice, but come on does that really work? Do these guys actually get girls to sleep with them by introducing themselves with a photo of their penises? Okay, they don’t first introduce themselves with the photo, first they trick you into believing that they are nice guys that just want to move on from the emails and chat of the online dating app or website, to the more personal mean of communication that is texting  (can you hear my sarcasm as you read?), and next thing you know ta tan!!!  dick picture.

I normally tell those that I am just simply not interested on what they are looking and to please keep it their pants. Some times I like to have a little fun with them so I play along for a while and then just let them know that is not going to happen, other times I just plain blank ignore,block and delete their number, all this after I screenshot the picture and show it to all my friends for endless laughs, I have to get something good out of it, don’t I?

But the ones that talk to me, the ones I actually go out to dinner or coffee with, does are the ones that really have me considering that my life is going to end up with me living in a creepy house at the end of a cul-de-sac, with 50 dogs and  yelling at kids to get off my yard during summer time. We go on a date, we have a great time, from my point of view, then I go home and wait for the text or call to set up the next meet and it never comes, the times that I’ve taken the initiative and called or texted back first I get blow off or straight up ignored. Which makes me wonder what the fuck happened?!

I really have no clue what is going on, am I doing something wrong; am I not pretty enough now that you’ve seen me in person; do I talk to much or to little; was I totally the opposite of what you were expecting?; did you get hit by a car on the way home and now you are in a coma or lost all memories about our date? No seriously what the fuck happened?? I feel like I need an explanation as of way, although we had a great time, you just completely went M.I.A  or refused to go out again, or better yet refused to  just be my friend, I mean we don’t have to date each other because we met online dating, do we?

I honestly don’t know what to do, I am at point where I don’t know if I should keep on trying or if I should just give up and accept the single life… forever.

If you have any suggestions or comments feel free to share with me, like and share!!!

XOXO

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